Dear Bria-

One year olds are so hard! I completely forgot how hard one year-olds are. Dallin and Akarie have been away at Bible School. I thought this would be a nice break but it means that you are a lot less entertained. Being less entertained means a lot more whining to mom. You're starting to talk a ton but I can't understand most of it. Our day is full of me pretending to understand you or working ridiculously hard to understand you.

Worst of all, you discovered how to climb out of your crib last night. You kept climbing out of your crib and we kept lowering it. When you climbed out last night, it was as low as we could make it. We locked you in your room for 45 minutes. That's how I remember handling Dallin and Akarie when they figured how to climb out. However, you screamed the entire time. Your room was a wreck and I also worried about choking hazards.

I called Aunt Shawna in despair. How did we get Dallin and Akarie to sleep after they were done with cribs? Shawna reminded me of what she called, "Pick and Place." You pick your crying child up and place them back into bad. You tuck them in lovingly one time and then you become a robot. You show no emotion. She suggested letting the child walk to the door so that you don't resort to holding them down in bed.

Your dad tried this method out while I breastfed Crew. He said that you fell asleep. However, when I came in at midnight to check on the situation, your dad had falling asleep and you were sitting next to him reading a book. I had him go to bed and proceeded to do the pick and place method for forty five minutes before you fell asleep.

I promptly went to bed only to have you wake me up at 5:00am! My immediate reaction was to let you sleep with me. Thankfully, you are the worst to sleep with! You want to lay on top of me and that's not comfortable at all. So I did the pick and place method. You fell asleep on the floor and I stayed there for twenty minutes until Crew started cooing. I got up to feed Crew and you got up with me! I had to get Dad to help you back to sleep.

Tonight so far has been better. Dad went to put you to bed and I haven't heard much of a commotion. I suspect that Dad fell asleep because he's been in there for over an hour and a half.

I love you, Bree,
~Mom

Dear Bria-

Your talking has exploded lately and it's about time. You were at a standstill with your words for a while. You would use the same ones over and over without adding much to your vocabulary. I remember with Dallin and Akarie that once they started talking, the progress was steady. You've forged your own path. Now you finally started to say multiple word sentences and your words are becoming more and more recognizable.

You say, "Water" all of the time. Your water is two syllables but leaves out the "t." "Milk" is another popular word for you. You'll say, "Muh!" I love hearing you say, "I don't know." It sounds like, "No know!"

We just came back from Virginia. Your cousins and Aunt and Uncle are amazing with you! By the end of the trip, you were pretty comfortable with all of them. It's a comfort to me because if your dad and I ever died, you would go live with them. I liked seeing you so comfortable and well-loved.

I can't determine if you're shy or not. You have situations where you're painfully shy and situations where you're terribly outgoing. One minute, you're hiding your face on my shoulder and the next, you're letting a stranger carry you.

Have I told you about your tenders? You are a sensitive child and get your feelings hurt very easily. Since you were twelve months old, all I have to say is, "Bria, no!" and you'll pout your face and start crying. The best is when you sniffle and pout. It is possibly the cutest thing ever.

Nana and Grandaddy are aware of your tenders. In fact, I didn't expect for you to have a good relationship with your Grandaddy. He tends to be a yeller of "No!" While he has hurt your feelings, you two are good buds.

Okay, I best be getting to sleep as it's quite late. I'm sorry I haven't written to you very much, Bree. I love you so much. While you are currently at a hard age, you are also the cutest and sweetest little girl a mom could ask for.

All my love,
~Mom

P.S. I forgot to tell you that in the past few weeks you've learned to say your siblings names. You learned to say "Crew" first. I love hearing you say it, especially when you first learned it. You would say "Crew" in the softest voice. Your voice would rise like you were asking a question. "Creeeeeew?" It was adorable.

You say Akarie's name quite well, too. You learned that about a week and a half ago. Akarie annoys you the most by far. It's not uncommon to hear you loudly proclaim, "Stop, Karie! Stop Karie!" This phrase is so ingrained in you that you'll say, "Stop, Karie!" to Dallin!

Aunt Christina had you call her Aunt Nina for ease of pronunciation and you humored her at the end of our Virginia trip by saying it.

Dear Bria-

I forgot one other word that you've been using a lot lately-cheese!  I've been spoiling our family with cheese sticks and you can very clearly say cheese.  It is the cutest thing.  Especially because you get so excited about your cheese.

I also forgot to mention that you have yet to develop a case of stranger danger.  You're definitely cautious in unfamiliar circumstances and you are not the biggest fan of your Uncle Dwain, poor guy.  BUT, you are not afraid to go up to other people and interact with them.

A few weeks ago at the library, you sat in a complete stranger's lap.  The poor lady already had kids but you kept right on sitting there.  Embarrassingly enough, you didn't even want to come to me!  At the end of story time, I actually had to grab you out of her lap.

Your dad has started calling you Bree Bree and I HATE that nickname.  I've always hated nicknames that repeat the same word twice.  It's somewhat pointless because it's not even shortening the name and it makes you and the person saying it sound like a baby.  You are a baby and so no problems there  though.

Anyway, once I told your dad my feelings on the subject, he has been such a sport and has worked really hard not to call you that name.  If you nickname a future child a word used twice, I refuse to use the nickname.  Just letting you know now.  Oh, I also refuse to call any of your children Bubba.  Yuck.  Shivers.  If you actually name your children a word twice or Bubba, I will respectively call them what you named them.  Probably won't even mention how much I hate it.  But I can't imagine anyone being idiotic enough to actually do that to a child.

I love you Bria,
~Mom

Dear Bria-

My goodness it's been a while since I've written!  I wanted to tell you about the words that you are saying.  Your first word was "bye bye."  Although Dad would contend that it was "Dada."  Hopefully I've written to you about your first word because I'm getting myself confused!  Maybe your first word was "Dada."  I believe you technically used that as a word first.  But to be honest, you're still not consistent at using it.  You'll say it when Dad comes home from work and that's about it.

Here's the words you currently say:

-Dada

-Bye Bye- You've been saying, "Dada," for "bye bye" but just today you actually said something that sounded like "bye bye!"

-Yes- This is actually the first word you've consistently used to communicate with us.  I would ask you a question and you would squeal for a yes.  Lately, your "yes" has been sounding more and more like the word.

-Tickle Tickle- You seriously say this and it is the cutest!  You never say just one tickle.  I love seeing your little teeth pressed together and your tongue going wild as you say, "tickle tickle" over and over again.  Last night, you actually tried tickling Dallin and Akarie while you said this!

-kitty cat-  You can say this so clearly but it's been about a month since I've heard you say it.

Okay, those are the only words I can think of so far that you say.  You've definitely been a slow talker.  I'm still waiting for you to call me "mama."  If I ask you to say, "mama," you'll exclaim, "dada!"  I've turned this into a game and get really upset when you do that.  Then you'll laugh.  This was a bad game for me to start though because now you have no motivation to say, "mama!"

You have a mischievous personality and you are definitely a more physical person.  You have figured out how to do everything before Dallin and Akarie.  Thanks to your siblings, you are quite tough.  You definitely don't cry overtime you have a fall.

You also have a look all of your own.  Dallin and Akarie were practically twins but you look different from them.  You seem quite skinny.  Last time you stepped on the scale, you weighed 25 pounds, which I know is no lightweight.  But I tend to have very chunky kids!  My favorite feature of yours are your eyes.  I love the shape and the color.  Your hair is quite dark.  Blue eyes and brown hair is a pretty stunning combination.  So no worries!

I'm just amazed that my blonde genes are so weak.  It's not common to be as grown as I am and to be as blonde as I am.  I expected that to show more in my kids but it sure hasn't.  Dad must have some strong brunette genes.  Dad was very blonde as a baby/toddler.  I expected all of my kids to start out as towheads but you and Dallin defied that.  Don't get me wrong, there's some blonde in your hair, just not much.  You definitely have more brown hairs.

I love you, Bree.  I'm sorry you don't get a dozen letters a month like Dallin did when he was a baby.  Life sure is busy now.  Something is better than nothing, right?

I love you,
~Mom

Dear Bria-

Today you turned one.  And I feel bad because your poor birthday sure has been overshadowed.  Thank goodness you're too young to notice!  First off, Dad and I found out last night that I'm pregnant.  This was a little bit of a surprise and has definitely occupied my thoughts.

Then, we spent today at a children's museum that was geared towards older kids.  When two and under are free, that's saying something.  You still had a good time.  Nana laughed that your favorite thing there were stairs.  And it's the truth.

Tonight, after I put you down, Dallin lost his first tooth.  Dad and I couldn't help but laugh at these big events happening right around your birthday.  This is third child problem.  But please know that no matter what, I love you and have thought lots about your one year birthday.

Just watch your one year video if you want proof!  I worked on that for at least 10 hours and I think it turned out fabulous.  Truth be told, my best work yet.  See?  There are advantages to being a third kid!

You also got some cool gifts.  Aunt Kelli is in town and so you even had an extra guest at your party. You got a shape sorter, a ring with hoops that go around it, a flashlight, and a sippy cup.  You absolutely devoured your cupcake.  Unfortunately, you've gotten into sweets a time or two and so this was not your first foray into sugar.

I love you sweet girl!  I can't believe that I had you a year ago.  I'm so excited to be able to give you a sibling close in age.  Truth be told, in a lot of ways, I would love a large age gap between you and your sibling.  But seeing Dallin and Akarie grow up together confirmed to me that you deserved the same thing.  So... you're welcome!  (Disclaimer: There were other reason for having another kid right now.  But we definitely took you into consideration!)

Love you!
~Mom

Dear Bria-

You took your first official steps yesterday!  You've just started standing on your own without holding anything.  Most of the time when you do stand on your own (and let's be honest, this only happens a few times a day) you are also clapping.  So yesterday, you were standing and clapping.  Daddy held out his arms and you walked into them!  I love baby first steps.  They are magical.

We got you a walker on Sunday and you love to walk that thing around.  The only problem is that you don't know how to turn it.  Whenever you run into something, you're stuck.  So unless I follow you, turning the walker around, you can only walk across a room with it before you have to find something else to do.

To be honest, that's not hard because everything seems to entertain you!  Ah, to be a baby again!

I love you,
~Mom

Dear Bria-

I'm sorry that I'm failing at these letters to you.  I want to write more.  I really do.

You are the best baby.  We went strawberry picking the other day and you were so good.  When I say "we" I meant Dallin, Akarie, and me.  You stayed behind with my friend.  And you were fine!  She never once heard you cry.  All the moms in play group wonder at what a great baby you are.  I need to remember that during your few fussy hours every day.

This morning I discovered that you had cut a second tooth!  I'm sad to say that I can't remember if I wrote about your first tooth in my monthly blog letters.  Heaven knows, I haven't written it here.  I'm scared to go back and see when's the last time I wrote you.  I try to be a cup is half-full type of mom.  Therefore, at least you get letters at all, right?  A few is better than none.

Okay, back on topic.  You are an amazing, two-toothed baby.  And so happy.  You smile all the time and it's pretty easy to make to laugh.  All I have to do is laugh and you'll laugh right back at me, or err.. with me.  Right?  Riiiight?

You're also a tough baby.  Dallin and Akarie are pretty mean to you.  They're constantly hitting you.  I've caught them several times whacking your fingers when you're standing and getting into something.  They'll smash your fingers in an attempt to get you to sit down.  All I can say is that they're making you into one tough baby.

Today, you almost got seriously hurt.  Dallin climbed on the high chair and made the tray fall down.  You happened to be crawling almost exactly where it fell.  Thankfully, it only grazed you but my heart was in my throat.  Your brother obviously didn't do this on purpose.  I wasn't mad.

I love you Bria.  So much.  Just as much as Dallin and Akarie despite the fact that they have a million more letters than you when they were your age.  I am so sorry.  Third child woes.  I say that all of the time, but Bria, I really do completely understand.  I'm a fourth child (technically fifth) myself and I get the problems.  Being a mom now, I understand the other side too, though.  Not enough time to do all that I want to do.

I love you,
~Mom

Dear Bria-

Before you go to bed, you "tired talk."  Dad and I do this when we're tired and it cracks me up that you do too.  Okay, I better go change your diaper now.  You started solids and phew, your diapers now stink!

Love you,
~Mom

Dear Bria-

For the past two weeks, you've become a pro at rolling over onto your stomach.  However, you don't know how to roll back over to your back.  Tummy time is not your favorite and so you've been a mighty cranky baby.  Somehow, you just can't seem to stop yourself from rolling onto your tummy.  This week, you've finally seemed to enjoy tummy time more.  Still.  It's been rough sailing.

You've learned fear this week.  I've scared you a number of times and you make the most adorable pouty face.  I'm guilty of purposely scaring you to see that pout.  It's adorable!

A couple of weeks ago, we came down with thrush.  After taking your medicine, you still have it.  So I'm going to call tomorrow and see what else can be done.  Sigh.

I love you, Bria,
~Mom

Dear Bria-

When I was going through morning sickness with you, my brushing habits weren't what they should have been.  Brushing my teeth induced vomiting and I just. couldn't. handle. it.  I have paid dearly for that-- thousands of dollars worth of dental work and pain plus my anxiety has been troubling me since this has all happened.

As I looked at you in wonder today, I can testify that all of this grief has been worth it one hundred times over.  I love you that much.

I love you.  So much.
~Mom

Dear Bria-

Oh how you are changing!  First off, you've learned to grab.  Specifically, you've learned to grab hair. My hair is quite thin and so this is actually a little stressful for me, funny enough.

If you were more aware, you would actually be feeling worse than me.  While my hair is thin, your hair has disappeared!  You lost most of your dark hair on top and look like an old man (or at least what your dad will look like in five years).

You still have some lighter colored short hair on top but it does not stand out like your longer dark hair did.  I think your hair will follow your brother's.  You'll have light brown hair for a couple of year before it goes darker like your dad's.  I'm actually pretty excited for your brown hair.  That's saying something because before you came along, I was a die-hard blonde hair fan.

Dallin and Akarie have been quite instrumental in helping you figure out days and nights.  They wake you up every morning when they wake up.  Since I'm the last one out of bed, I've been slightly helpless at their intrusion.  Plus, I don't mind them waking you up all that much.  If they're awake, I have to be awake anyway.  Might as well have all of us up!

Also, you are an excellent sleeper.  You've been consistently sleeping through the night and spoiling me dreadfully.  You fall asleep between 9-11 every night and usually don't wake up until Dallin and Akarie disturb your slumber in the morning around 7:30am.

Unfortunately, you've had your first taste of formula.  I had a dentist appointment and no ability to pump.  Nana had quite the time getting you to accept formula!  At first you were too hysterical to drink it.  You fell into an exhausted slumber.  When you awoke, Nana was quick to get the formula to you before your emotions got the best of you.  You drank a whopping 2 ounces.  I'm sure the experience was quite odd for you.

You've had a huge first this past week.  You've rolled over!  I can't tell you the exact date because I'm not sure.  The first time you rolled over, I thought it was a fluke.  Same with the second and third.  I figured I had put you on your stomach in just the right position.  So your rolls never felt real.  However, you have turned over four or five times.  So I think I can officially say you've rolled over.  Today you rolled twice in a row.  I busted out the camera and of course you stopped!  But I did get a roll on tape last night!

You have collected a couple of nicknames.  Dad and I are super sensitive to calling you any nickname we call Akarie.  We don't want jealousy issues on her part.  Considering that we've called Akarie almost every girly nickname in the book, it has proven challenging to find pet nicknames for you!

Nana told us the day you were born that she wanted to call you "Breezy".  I think that's a cute nickname and that's practically all I called you your first month of life.  I've backed off that a little now as I really would like you to be known as Bria or Bree.  I still think Breezy is really cute though!

Dallin and Akarie rarely call you by Bria.  At first they preferred Breezy.  Now they've each found their own pet names.  Dallin often calls you Bree Bree.  Akarie has somehow come up with the nickname of Breester.  I'm not going to lie, not my favorite nickname!  But it's cute to hear them affectionately call you these names.  From experience, I can say that babies tend to outgrow their nicknames.  None of the nicknames we called Dallin and Akarie have really stuck around.

I love you Bria!
~Mom  

Dear Bria-

We put out your baby floor mat and hung some toys up on.  You went to town!  I loved watch you kick your legs in excitement and start reaching for the toys.  It's fun to see you start to interact with the world around you.

In other news, you are a hair grabber.  Yep.  Not so much fun.

You have found your fingers this past week, specifically your thumb.  I really don't want you to be a thumb suckers.  But you find it so determinedly that I don't know how to stop you.  Thanks to finding your thumb, you've started sleeping through the night.  You thumb suck yourself back to sleep when you wake up, I'm assuming.  Not to complain, but I actually would love for you to wake me up once a night.  As it is, I wake up at seven in the morning in lots of pain!

Still love you lots,
~Mom

Dear Bria-

You know what I love about you right now?  How unaware and unashamed you are.  You're smiling all of the time now and boy do you look goofy with your gummy grins!  But that doesn't worry you.  You smile giant smiles anyway.  You're also starting to practice talking and you don't seem overly concerned about sounding just right or not making a mistake.  You do your own thing and you're completely unaware of what other people think of you.  I wish we could all stay babies in that way.

You fell asleep in my arms two hours ago and I didn't have the heart to put you down until just now.  Babies grow up so fast.  So I held you and only two things made me put you down in your crib.  The driving motivator was that I'm tired and want to sleep.  But the second motivator was that I wanted to write down the memory so that I can have it forever.  Thus, this letter.

I love you so much Bria,
~Mom

P.S.  Your coos got really loud the other night and you were practically yelling.

Dear Bria-

Breastfeeding is still not going well for us and I'm frustrated.  Busy circumstances have prevented me from seeing a lactation consultant but I hope to make an appointment next week.  Although I have little faith in lactation consultants after they weren't able to really help us in the hospital.  I'm secretly hoping that your tongue tied.  I doubt it though because you've had two lactation consultants look in your mouth.

You have started smiling and being very responsive to my facial expressions.  Also, you're starting to coo.  If I say "Ahhhh" to you, nine times out of ten, you'll talk back.  I love our little conversations.

We're staying at Nana's this week while we wait for our new (to us) apartment.  I love the time I get to spend focusing on you and not on having a clean house, making dinner, etc...

You've already gone on your first plane ride.  We went to Utah on September 3rd for my sister, Janaye's, wedding.  Your first flight was awesome as you slept the whole time.  I thought your second flight would go even better.  We had a full row to ourselves and I even got to bring your carseat.  However, you were fussy the last hour and I spent my time urgently trying to calm you down.  I must have done a good job because the passengers behind us and ahead of us commented once we were landed that they didn't realize they were near a baby.

I love you,
~Mom

P.S.  You met your Grandma Curtis and she spoiled you with affection.  She held you and held you and held you!  There's a reason why my mom birth 9 children...

Dear Bria-

The thing you are most complimented on is your head shape, strangely enough.  You have a very pretty round head.  I've never been one to value head shape, but I must admit after hearing so many compliments about yours, I'll be quite sad if you get a flat spot in the back of your head like babies tend to do.

The past 10 days have been a bit of a struggle for your mom.  Dad's been gone nearly all of the time  thanks to school and football.  While you are not a fussy baby, you are a demanding one.  You constantly want to be held and it's very difficult for me to get anything done.  Right now, you are lying on my chest while I type.

Breastfeeding has been slowly improving.  I'm still looking forward to the day when it becomes effortless on both our parts.  However, it is easier and I've even dared to breastfeed you while lying down.

I love you, sweet Bria.  I can't remember what life was like without you and that's a good thing.

Love,
~Mom

Dear Bria-

So far, you have been a very good baby.  You mostly only cry when you are hungry.  Sure, you're not happy if not being held but that's just something that comes with the newborn territory.  Plus, I LOVE to hold you!  Already, you are getting so heavy and I just want to enjoy my tiny Bree Bree (as Dallin loves to call you).

You are currently sitting in my lap, between my arms as I write this letter.  Your eyes are getting bluer and bluer with every passing day.  They started out really dark but I had no doubts that they would lighten up and be blue.  With Dad and me both having blue eyes, you have little choice.

I love you Bria,
~Mom  

Dear Bria-

You are 12 days old and I'm sorry that this is my first letter to you ever.  I've been vlogging my pregnancy and that took up a lot of time.  Right now I feel like I'm writing to you on borrowed time.  Dallin is dying to go to the store (mainly because he earned a Hot Wheels car) and you're lying naked on the floor, so far patiently waiting for me to dress you.  Now Dallin and Akarie are fighting.  Sigh.

Your fist ten days have been an adventure.  I must admit that I'm still uncertain of your name.  It's really hard to name somebody.  I hope you like your name.  I love that we have the same middle name and I hope you one day love that, too.  Megan is a really pretty name besides that.

You've been a very good baby.  You rarely cry.  Yes, you do want to be held almost all of the time, but I don't mind.  I love holding you.  In fact, thinking of you getting older makes me slightly sick to my stomach.

We went to your two week check-up yesterday.  I was VERY nervous.  You needed to have gone back up to your birth weight.  Your older brother had failure-to-thrive and I've been a paranoid mommy ever since.  Imagine my relief when you weighed in at 9.65 pounds!  Way to go Bria!!!

Nursing has gone okay after a bumpy first few days.  I was a wreck on your second day of life because you were hurting me but the lactation consultant couldn't see why that was the case.  Your latch was perfect.

The next day, another lactation consultant helped us and noted that you had a high palate which would make nursing harder for us.  That proved true at fist.  Now I feel like we're doing pretty well.  Your latch isn't perfect but I'm not dying of pain, either.

Akarie just jumped over you and I about had a heart attack.  How do little siblings ever survive?!  I'm very excited that you're a girl Bria and that you and Akarie get to be sisters.  I have a lot of sisters and they're the best!  I hope the two of you will be best friends.  You're also super lucky to have an older brother!  I always wanted an older brother and I had to wait until later in life to have one.  Lucky you to start off with one!

I love you sweet Bria,
~Mom